


Reminiscences

by psychobabblers



Category: Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-24
Updated: 2011-04-24
Packaged: 2017-10-18 15:22:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/190263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychobabblers/pseuds/psychobabblers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>post KotOR. Revan and Carth think of each other while Revan is away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reminiscences

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted at ff.net. This was my first fic and I thought I should update my fic list here.

The ceaseless rain pounded away on the thick, glass windows. Thunder rumbled in the distance, reminding all that the storm would not be over for quite awhile. Brief flashes of lightning flickered against the darkened sky. People were speaking, shouting above the din, trying to get his attention, but Admiral Carth Onasi didn't hear them. There was only the pounding of the rain, and the pounding of his heart.

And, of course, the throbbing in his head. Why couldn't they just leave him alone?

Couldn't they see that he didn't want to deal with the Republic's issues? Especially when he couldn't even deal with his own?

"Admiral Onasi?" Carth suppressed a growl at the apprehensive voice of his secretary.

"Yes?" he barely managed through tightly clenched teeth.

Looking as if she regretted approaching him, she hesitantly said, "Some of the officers under your command—Finnley, Kharv, and some others—are going out to eat tonight. They were wondering if you might like to join them."

Turning back to stare out the window, he was about to refuse when she interrupted him. "With all due respect sir, I think you should go. You haven't been out for…You haven't been out. It's not healthy." He opened his mouth to argue, but she started talking again. "I don't think Alyssa would've wanted you to just waste away." She ignored his attempts at speaking, continuing with, "Why, I remember when she used to hang around the station all the time. I always thought she was a good match for you, her being all cheerful and optimistic. You sure had your hands full trying to keep her from getting into trouble."

Carth stared at her, lost for words.

"I'm fine," he finally managed. Forcing out a smile, he said, "It's the rain. It's driving me crazy." It wasn't the rain, of course. It was the constant reminder of her, of Alyssa, of Revan. His Revan. She had loved the rain, often dragging him away from important meetings and officials just so they could have picnics on the roof, using her Force powers to keep them and the food dry.

Giving him up for a lost cause, his secretary turned away with a sigh, muttering, "Yeah, I'm sure that the rain is all that's bothering you."

On an impulse, Carth called her back. "Wait! Tell them…tell them I'll come," ignoring her obvious shock. He hadn't been treating the people around him fairly. Lost in his own world, he had been neglecting the people who served under him. Resolved to start being an admiral in person as well as title, he knew that it was time for him to move on. He would still wait for Revan, but he couldn't let it consume his life. His secretary was right. Revan wouldn't want him to waste away. Belatedly, he remembered his promise to keep the Republic safe. Time to start living up to her expectations Onasi, he reprimanded himself, or when she comes back, you're never gonna hear the end of it.

Outside, the rain continued to pound away, but the dark storm clouds didn't seem quite so oppressive anymore.

* * *

Bright, bright sunlight forced their way through the grimy windows of the small, rundown cottage. Although the dirt and dust strove to keep the rays from filtering through, they were no match for the triple suns of this lonely, lifeless planet. A thin trickle of wind drifted by, and one of the rotting planks that held up the roof wavered. The wind, enboldened by this show of weakness, shoved harder, until finally the plank fell down and hit the sleeping person below.

Revan leapt out of sleep, drawing the lightsabers she always kept at her side. The tips of the laser swords flickered as she blearily tried to find an enemy to attack. Noticing the piece of wood on the floor next to her sleeping place, she scowled up at the roof. The lightsabers winked out of existence.

"Can't even sleep without something attacking me. Even while on a planet that has _nothing there_ ," she muttered to herself. She had taken to talking to herself lately. It wasn't like there were other people to interact with. Just hostile planets, hostile animals, hostile plants, and hostile beams of wood. She glared at the innocent-looking plank. In a sudden rage, it vanished under her furious onslaught of blue energy that sprouted from her fingers, burning, burning, _destroying_. "You're not so great now, are you! You little...plank of wood!" she gasped, and managed to slam her self control down. The house teetered over and collapsed.

She groaned, putting her head into her hands. This was not going as planned. And to make matters worse, the suns were shining again. She nearly lost her control again, as the sunlight beat down on her, burning her, warming her, reminding her of all she had lost. No. She refused to think about him, of that wonderfully imperfect Republic soldier who had won her heart, who put his arms around her as gently as the sunlight was now caressing her. She refused to think of his name. But she couldn't help a smile from spreading across her face as she thought of him, how he loved the sunlight, how he would drag her everywhere on those beautiful pristine days for walks away from his busy schedule.

It was a wonder that he had ever gotten any work done, with her picnics in the rain, and his walks in the sunlight. She stopped her thought. Happy thoughts were not allowed. They hurt too much. What about just his name? Surely that couldn't hurt. What if she just whispered it? No. That was definitely not allowed. Maybe I should make a list, she mused. Then I wouldn't forget all these cursed rules.

With a sigh, she forced herself to stand up, and swing her small pack over her shoulder. It was time to head back to her ship. There was nothing of interest here. It was time to move on. And it was definitely time to visit someplace with a lack of sun. The light was starting to drive her crazy.

The sunlight continued to stalk the small, lithe figure as she trudged along the surface of the planet. But it seemed to Revan that she had never been anywhere darker.


End file.
